ANNOUNCEMENT: The ORB is on Google!

So I was really bored at work, so I decided to search my name on Google.

The ORB was like 5th on the list! That's awesome! But we need more hits in order to make it #1.

When I searched "The ORB", however, it was completely unlisted. Sh!t.

Oh and apparently, I'm also a kick ass defensive football player (not true), a performer in a cabaret show (true), and a French public speaking winner (true). Sweet!

Coming SOON:

Planned Movies: Wanted, Pineapple Express, Tropic Thunder, Clone Wars.
Planned Theatre: Avenue Q, Les Miserables (in French), Jersey Boys

My my, how could I resist it?

Earlier this week, I saw the film version of Mamma Mia! with my good friends Kaitlin and Isabelle. To be honest with you, I had low expectations for this movie, but I love musical theatre, ABBA, and Meryl Streep too much to turn it down. Once again, my expectations were surpassed quite substantially!

First, let's talk about Mamma Mia! at its core as both a film and a stage show. The plot is nowhere near brilliant: it is schmaltzy, stereotypical, anti-climactic, and, in a sense, quite lame. Where the plot fails, the dialogue is usually there to pick it up, but it is a coin toss. And where those two fail, in comes the brilliant music of Swedish-pop sensation ABBA which sounds much better sung by a chorus and leads with great vocals than the two A's of the group; yet the songs still feel like they are simply thrown into the plot and are not necessarily relevant. If this combination is produced well, it can be a fantastic and enjoyable spectacle for anyone with romantic-comedy, musical theatre, or 80s synth pop spirit.

It is expected for any movie based on a stage performance to be compared to its theatrical counterpart, however in this particular case, it is almost a guarantee that those who enjoyed the direction of the stage show will enjoy the movie. Why? Because it is the same director. Phyllida Lloyd makes her feature film directing debut with this film, and in my personal opinion she does not disappoint. She's no Scorcese, Nolan, or Kubrick mind you, however if you plan to see this movie, don't go into it thinking she directed a masterpiece. She directs this movie exactly the way it should have been done: complete and utter romantic musical theatre cheese, which I believe is perfect for this kind of movie. I really hope to see more movies done by her in the future, because she really exemplified the spirit that Mamma Mia! is supposed to give off. And the choreography was absolutely incredible, particularly in the numbers "Dancing Queen", "Lay All Your Love On Me", and even my least favourite number in the show "Does Your Mother Know?"

Now I only comment on these factors when I feel they are extremely commentable (for better or for worse), and yet they are two very important pieces to the film puzzle: cinematography and editing. The cinematography done by Haris Zambarloukos is definitely going to receive a comment in the "better" category, because some of the shots were absolutely extraordinary. He takes the magical setting of the Greek islands and turns some scenes into absolute artwork; I have a strong feeling that this particular cameraperson is Greek, so that might be a no brainer. On the downside, the editing by Lesley Walker may have butchered some of Zambarloukos' shots. Maybe I was just being picky, but I spotted so many errors in the cuts that were easily avoidable that just bugged me.

One of the factors that started the hype about this movie was its all-star international cast. The question on my mind was: "How much of this 'all-star cast' will fit in the movie musical game?" I even had my doubts about Meryl Streep, the greatest living film actress. So who delivered and who didn't?

Meryl Streep plays the show-stopping Donna, the single mother of Sophie who runs the Villa Donna. As usual, Mrs. Streep is a treat to the silver screen and shines every time she is featured. Her wit and her character is always on point; although this role was not as magical as Sophie or Miranda Priestly, yet she still has that special charm that you just love about her. But would Meryl Streep be the same in a musical comedy? We all learned that she could hold a tune in A Prarie Home Companion, but could she hold the belting of ABBA tunes? Trust me, all you need to watch is the amount of emotion and passion she puts in "The Winner Takes It All" to know that she is meant for anything on screen.

One of my most pleasant surprises was Amanda Seyfried. Her claim to fame of course is Karen in Mean Girls, however she holds her own in...well, a slightly more serious and much smarter role as Sophie. She is one of the shining stars in this film. But her real high point is the amazing set of pipes on this blonde bombshell. Where did that come from?! Every song that she sings in is a joy to listen to and she is, without a doubt, the best cast member vocally.

Dominic Cooper plays the future hubby of Sophie. Personally, I felt he was far too boyish and did not like some of his character choices, and his singing was average, but he still holds his own in "Lay All Your Love On Me".

Then we have the three possible fathers played by three famed international actors: Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth, and Stellan Skarsgard. Colin Firth and Stellan Skarsgard definitely do a great job with their supporting roles, fitting into the characters perfectly and adding their own personal charm, and their singing isn't half bad either. But then we get to Pierce Brosnan as Sam. I know that Isabelle, Kaitlin, and about a quarter of all females are going to hate me for this: sure he may be "hunky", sure he may have that "British charm" (even though he's supposed to be playing an American), and sure he may be a great actor; but Mr. Brosnan, with all due respect, stay the hell away from musical comedies. The acting was less than sublime and the singing in songs "S.O.S." and "When All Is Said And Done" is like watching a 50-something man sing ABBA in a karaoke bar. Sorry, liked you as James Bond, but I'm just hoping he won't be in another singing role any time soon.

Finally, we have Tanya and Rosie played by Christine Baranski and Julie Walters. I was never a fan of Christine Baranski, although she fit the character well physically (sometimes that didn't translate) and her voice was actually not too bad. Call it a grudge, or maybe she's just completely overshadowed by the stealer of the show in this movie: Julie Walters. She acted her character so wittingly and the physical comedy was always on point! And who knew Molly Weasley could hold a tune? She definitely was the highest point of this movie and still shows that she's at the top of her game.

Don't expect cinematic genius, a movie to be remembered for all time, or anything thought provoking. Only certain types of people will like this movie: ABBA addicts, musical theatre diehards, chick flick fans, and romantics, to name a few. Luckily I am all of those, and listen to the cast and crew behind Mamma Mia! when they say:

"Take a chance on me!"

("Take a chance, take a chance, take a chance...")

/5

The Dark Knight: The IMAX Experience

Take everything I said in my review of The Dark Knight and put it on a 6 story high screen. Words cannot express how amazing TDK was in IMAX. The scenes that were actually made for that format were incredible. The Dark Knight is a must see in IMAX form, no question about it.

For my original review, either a) scroll down b) click "The Dark Knight" on the "movies i've reviewed" list.

COMING SOON:

Reviews for Mamma Mia!, and Les Miserables from Quebec! I know! Interprovincial!

Smart and 99 shine, but wouldn't call it either

Trust me, there's substance behind that horribly uncreative headline, and to be frank creativity was also lacking in the movie Get Smart. Despite that, it still made for a very entertaining comedy, mostly because of the two headliners of the film: Steve Carrell and Anne Hathaway.

But more on that later. Get Smart is based on a 1960s spy comedy about a secret agency known as CONTROL with the lead character Maxwell Smart. Now don't get me wrong, there have been some gems, but usually movies with plots based on sitcoms turn out incredibly bad and/or mediocre (Starsky and Hutch, anyone?). This movie's plot written by Tom J. Astle and Matt Ember was actually not too bad, but that's about it. In fact, it was the epitomy of predictable summer comedy spy movies; so predictable, that I determined and successfully predicted the outcome of the film, the evil plot's execution and who was the double agent very early on.

Other than that, the comedy gave me a few guffaws, but several of the jokes were hit and miss (believe me, the awkward silences were there, the ones where the actors on screen hold for laughs), and the jokes that were a hit probably only were because of the brilliant comedic actor Steve Carrell who was performing them.

The non-headliner cast actually held their own in my opinion. We see Nate Torrence and Masi Oka (of Heroes fame) as gadget scientists Bruce and Lloyd, and they actually steal some scenes at times. We also had Ken Davitian, who Borat fans now know as Azamat Bagatov, play Shtarker with amusing tiny nuances. And for all those WWE fans, Dalip Singh is in this movie as a giant thug under Siegfried's arsenal, which was a type cast but still very entertaining. For those of you WWE fans who don't know who Dalip Singh is, you may recognize him as The Great Khali. Yeah. Pretty intimidating. But then when have Terence Stamp as the mastermind of the evil plan Siegfried, who is not very intimidating at all, and not even the stereotypical evil genius, which was somewhat disappointing.

Hey, it's a freaking WWE arsenal here as Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson plays Agent 23. What can I say about Mr. Johnson except that I enjoyed his brutality and cockiness, but then again it's just another persona that's exactly like Chris Vaughn or the Scorpion King, and it involves little to no acting. I can smell what The Rock is cooking and it tastes incredibly bland.

Then we have the great Oscar winning Alan Arkin as The Chief. Although he has his moments (look out for a swordfish), I have to say his performance was expectingly lacklustre. He really took a backseat in this one, which was disappointing, but then again, there really was not enough substance for him to turn into a memorable role.

Reading this review, you're probably thinking that this will be the first poorly reviewed movie of this blog. Luckily that is not the case thanks to the two brilliant lead actors of this film.

Anne Hathaway is well known for her amazing performance in movies like The Princess Diaries and The Devil Wears Prada, and once again she delivers in what any other actress would make mediocre. I thought that Agent 99 would simply be the traditional femme fatale of the movie, and everyone knows that Anne Hathaway could do that; I mean come on, she's absolutely gorgeous! But as the movie progresses, the audience sees that she is a tragic character with a lot of bad experiences. Anne Hathaway conveys every emotion to a T and does an amazing job with the character. She gives off a character that is very hard to convey, the hard-shelled but vulnerable femme fatale, and unlike most actors, fails to disappoint.

People today probably have laughed at least once at Steve Carrell, I mean, come on, the man is hilarious and talented. The role of Maxwell Smart was made for him; the slapstick yet suave secret agent is right under Carrell's alley. He's the reason why all of the jokes in this movie are funny. Practically every line that escapes his mouth makes me guffaw. And yet, the character, like Agent 99, has its conflicts and characteristics other than funny: he needs to be debonair, but conflicted with the hopes for something more. Steve Carrell does not get out of character once and performs to the best of his abilities.

Another thing that I feel needs to be noted is the chemistry between Carrell and Hathaway. The sexual tension between the two in the entire movie is just perfect and you really feel that they are connected with each other, unlike so many fake relationships one sees in comedies.

Overall, the movie's faults are rescued by these two incredible actors that not only make the movie entertaining in the hilarious way, but also by drawing the audience consistently into a plot that is not very consistent at all. It almost got a bad rating by me, but like Maxwell Smart's swing from a flaming rooftop, it "Missed it by that much!"

/5

(By the way, in case you missed what the terrible title of this article meant: I wouldn't call it smart or 99%. I know. Shut up.)

ANNOUNCEMENT: Facebook

Hey Readers!

In order to publicize the site more, I am going to be posting every review I write in a note on Facebook. The people who were at the performance with me or were involved in any way will be tagged in the notes! I won't leave them up forever, but I feel it's a good way to get people connected to the site!

As for the people who already are, please post comments! I need to know your opinions!

By the way, for all those Youtubers out there, I found one of the most intelligent reviews for The Dark Knight on Youtube that pretty much conveys what all three of us were trying to say after seeing the movie: The Dark Knight Impressions. *WARNING- minor spoilers*

If you haven't seen The Dark Knight, go see it

right now

why are you still reading?

Love you all!

Mike Wisniowski

Oh, what a Knight!

Well in reality it was twelve o'clock in the afternoon when Ted, Joseph, and myself saw Christeopher Nolan's second part to his revival of the Batman series. Maybe you've heard of it...it's called...umm...shoot...hold on....ah yes...The Dark Knight, which by the way is the greatest superhero movie I've seen in my life. In fact, superhero movie doesn't even begin to describe it; thrilling suspenseful epic crime saga starring the Joker. Yeah, that sounds better.

Oh my god, I just realized this is a sequel! Sequels are never usually this good! One cannot even look at this movie as a sequel; it practically eliminates any recollection of its predecessors (I'm talking to you Joel Schumacher; I know, it must hurt your campy Batman and Robin which made me wretch).

Christopher Nolan and his brother Jonathan created a brilliant crime story that was dark, morbid, and incredible. Sure, the outcome was quite predictable at times, but what mattered was the suspense one felt at the delivery of the lines and the way it was filmed that kept every viewer on the edge of their seat. The cinematography was filmed with IMAX cameras, and yet I still felt the effect in a regular theatre. All I have to say is stay tuned for the review after I see it in IMAX. That's right, I'm seeing it twice...at least.

The music by Hans Zimmer and James Newton Howard was the same as it was in the original movie. In fact, it may have been exactly the same. It may have been the same song throughout the entire movie. It is a good song, but I could do with some variety. And yet, this is one of those movies where the score did not have a factor for me. I almost did not notice it.

"You look nervous. Is it because of the scars?" The Joker asks this question to Rachel Dawes, and yet every member in the audience should nod their head yes because of the fantastic job the makeup and costume team did on Heath Ledger's character. As for the Batman, I have to say that I was impressed with the new suit, but still not the helmet: it makes him look like a bobblehead whereas in my opinion it should be a simple cowl like in the Animated Series; that looked awesome.

The special effects can really only be described with one word: explosive. The movie was jam packed (like that one New Yorker?) full of explosions left, right, and centre, all of them got my blood flowing and heart pumping. As for the stunts, they have one upped several action movies with their amazing car destructions, sky diving, and the Batpod. By the way, I know what everyone in the trailers has seen is pretty impressive; I assure you, you have not seen anything yet.

Alright, I've been itching to get to writing the next couple of sections since I got up from my uncomfortable seat. It is time to write about the amazing acting that was witnessed on the silver screen. By the way, if you feel as you read on that I'm missing someone, do not worry, I'm saving the best for last.

The minor characters, if you want to call them that, are played with stellar conviction. Morgan Freeman returns as the technological mastermind Lucius Fox. He still gives the sarcastic comic relief, but is also pivotal in a very dramatic scene and delivers. Gary Oldman also returns as Jim Gordon and, like in any movie Gary Oldman is in, is stellar and very committed to his role. Michael Caine plays everyone's favourite butler once again and, lucky for him, he gets most of the memorable moral quotes in the movie but also a couple of wisecracks; what can one say about Michael Caine, he's fantastic, especially as a British butler. The only character I was disappointed with was of course Rachel Dawes, also known as the major flaw of the Batman series. Unfortunately, she was only slightly better played by Maggie Gyllenhall than Kate Holmes, which isn't exactly a huge compliment.

Christian Bale returns as the title character, but that persona isn't exactly his shining point. His Batman is intimidating, yes, but one always gets the impression that Bale tries too hard with it, especially in that raspy voice which is sometime impossible to understand. We get it, your intimidating, now would you like a lozenge? I almost wish that Kevin Conroy of Animated Series fame would do the voice for him; everyone has to agree he had the most kick ass Batman voice. However one only needs to see his performance as Bruce Wayne to feel he's redeemed himself. You can really tell he has a lot of inner conflict which his double persona, and yet plays the cocky billionaire mask with amazing conviction.

Aaron Eckhart enters the stellar cast as the antihero Harvey Dent. His portrayal as the beacon of light for Gotham is absolutely incredible, his inner conflict just as visible as Bruce Wayne's. But then when his transformation happens, his persona changes completely, and Eckhart conveys that effortlessly. There is one scene in particular that really showed the character change; I'll quote my good friend Joseph Hammond: "It was like I felt his sanity shatter."

But the real star of the cast is none other than the late great Heath Ledger as the Joker. By the way, reader warning that no matter what I write will be anywhere close to the recognition he deserves for this portrayal of the role. There are really no words that can describe his performance fully, you really need to see it for yourself. However, I will do the best I can.

His version of the Joker is one that will be talked about as long as movies are in existence. He wasn't just a villain, he wasn't just a clown, he was an absolutely spine chilling homicidal, genocidal sociopathic maniac that would send chills up your spine just looking at him. His mannerisms and the way he talks cannot be mimicked. And all of the horrible things he does and says, he performs as if they were nothing with a certain euphoria that sometimes even makes the members of the audience laugh. Even those who have given The Dark Knight a bad review (all 10 of them) cannot help but compliment the amazing character that Heath Ledger has created and revitalized. Every time he appears on the screen, the audience is entertained. The scenes that he was in will go down as classic, especially one scene in particular where he plays the most unconventional role possible.

Overall, this movie may have its tiny almost unnoticeable flaws, but it still makes for the best live action movie so far of 2008 and one of the best in a very long time. I felt the same chills I did after seeing WALL-E however these were very different. Whether you are a hardcore Batman fan, a Christopher Nolan film addict, a late Heath Ledger mourner, or just in the mood for a really good movie, The Dark Knight will not disappoint.

I'd just like to point out that if Heath Ledger does not receive an Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor, I refuse to watch the Oscar telecast this year, because he deserves that and more.

"This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immoveable object." What the Joker describes, which Mr. Ledger delivers absolutely perfectly like all his other lines, can also apply to this film. After watching it, I almost wish that Christopher Nolan not continue the movie franchise because there is simply no way he can top this, and no way any villain he introduces can top what Heath Ledger did, and he unfortunately could not see what all of his maniacally hard work's final result was.

.9/5 (that's right, .9)

If you don't Fringe with a Floozy, then there's really no point in Fringing at all!

One hour, one floozy, one brown guy, two musicians: one hell of a good time!

On Saturday July 11th, my friend Andrea and I went to go see our good friends: Reza Jacobs and Melissa Major perform the musical they created for the Fringe Festival: Floozy the Musical. I was just looking for an hour of sexual innuendo, stereotypes, and a seat that would have a puddle after wetting my pants so much. Luckily I contained myself enough not to leak, but I definitely had a six pack for a brief moment of time because my abs got that much of a workout guffawing.

The writing for the show was absolutely brilliant. Every single scene was random, yet connected in the perfect way. The dialogue took no prisoners and had no conventions; it took all the risks and didn't fail once. It's just the kind of writing any racy show fan would enjoy, taking shots at people of all shapes and sizes (especially their penises).

The musical numbers were surprisingly great to listen too. I didn't think a show with this reputation could have listenable musical numbers in only one hour, but once again Reza and Major are full of surprises. Reza's voice shines as it resonates around the entire room while Melissa's is always amazingly provocative. And the score is brilliantly played by Jamie Drake and Erik Patterson who patter in the script every now and again and are so in character throughout the entire performance.

Now let's talk about the wonderful cast of this two person show. Melissa was so into the character of the Floozy everytime she played her. I never though that this would be a good comment, but Major was such a slut! She was also deliciously bubbly every time she travelled from country to country with her magical shoes (hey! who knew she could tap?), and tragically funny when she stumbled into the audience sobbing handing out tissues to everyone in the front row.

Reza Jacobs. I think saying only that reveals how good the character was. Or should I say characters. Reza played a large assortment of characters, all of them wonderfully original. Whether it was a gay French pirate, a German Hardcore, Sean Connery, or the Indian Guru (even though Melissa did a pretty good job in that role too, but its a matter of brownie vs. goreh). It's a shame he's so damn good at Musical Direction or else he'd be on that stage of every show he's worked on.

The twist ending pretty much made me die in my seat. What ends up as a very tragic fate can turn into happiness in one out of character discussion. I won't reveal it in case they decide to perform it on another stage, which they should (all producers please take note), but it was a bolly laugh that came out of my mouth, and I may have gotten wood.

Overall, Floozy the Musical was absolutely wonderful and a real treat to watch! The old expression "Time flies when you're having fun" both can and cannot apply to this play: on the one hand I never wanted it to end and the hour flew by, but on the other, the show was so well put together that it felt longer than the full hour; it felt full like any major 2 and a half hour show. The only way I can summarize this is by a philosophical quote that Reza's Sean Connery says in the play:

"Can I splooge in your eyesocket?"

If Reza and Melissa are reading this, I beg you, please mount this musical again, and I use mount literally, because you certainly did a lot of that.


/5